Once Best Friends…

…now strangers with memories.

Hey Y’all!

Many times the hard things are not talked about, who want to air their dirty laundry? But by talking about it you release the burden of hiding it from everyone and make your journey forward easier. Ladies, our parents, grandparents, friends, and family always tell us “don’t settle for a man” “don’t change who you are for a man” but what they may not tell us is those things apply to friendships too.

A broke friendship can be a comma or a full stop. The choice is yours.

I grew up with the books, shows, and movies that portray friendship as this everlasting, wonderful, easy relationship. Sadly that was way back when. These days society has become a “me” orientated entity where everyone is out for themselves and to hell with you if you don’t fit into their preconceived notion of friendship. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE FOR YOUR FRIENDS. If they are truly your friends they will accept your quirks, limitations, time schedule, and your likes or dislikes. I am not saying be friends with someone who is abusive, a drug addict, drug dealer, or anything else unsavory. With any relationship its give and take. Some people may go weeks without speaking or seeing each other due to their schedules but they are still able to pick up like no time has past because they understand each other.

When this give and take balance is disrupted, we end up with disgruntled feelings and hostile attitudes. Before I give my reason as to why this happens I am going to make this preface: I use my phone, I like my phone, and I am not going to give up my phone. That being said, all this technology has ruined communication skills. People cannot sit down and have a conversation and work through their issues. Its all done via texts, social media, and hearsay.

I can’t tell you how many times I have experience this unbalanced give and take type of friendship. I always like to work things out. Almost too much so, causing myself more hurt feelings. I would always recommend trying toย  make things work by being the bigger person and extending yourself to connect with the person. However, there comes a point when enough is enough and you have to move forward. You can only try so much with no reciprocation.

If they can’t raise one finger to reach out to you,

you need to raise five fingers and wave goodbye.

The most important lesson, its not you its them. If your conscious is clear and you have done everything you can to mend fences, reach out, and reconnect then it is 100% them. Some people like to ostracize others to make themselves feel more important, while some people are so wrapped up in themselves that they are unable to see the effect their deplorable behavior has on others. Whatever the reason may be, its their reason and they will have to answer for their behavior to the man upstairs.

Keep people in your life who truly love you,

motivate you, and make you happy.

If you know people who do none of these things,

let them go.

It has taken me 23 years 7 months and some odd days to come to this realization. My best advice is to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move forward. If you seem them, say Bless your Heart and smile.

Much Love

Whitney

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