So Ive been gone a while from my blog writing duties, but when you fiance is about to ship out for 5 months of training with no cell phones, visiting, or Face Timing many things get pushed to the back burner. Unfortunately this was one of those things. Now I don’t claim to be an expert is long distance relationships, military relationships, or military life but this is how I am coping with him being gone.
I have known from the beginning of our relationship that this was part of the deal and I accepted that. However, that didn’t make it any easier to see him off or the days leading up to seeing him off. We spent most of our free time together for the last week or so to be able to hold on to every little happy moment possible.
Now the morning he left was awful. I woke up crying, sat in the car crying on the way to the airport, walking him to security crying, and drove home crying while on the phone with my mom. I never meant to make him feel worse by crying my eyes out and I don’t think I made it harder on him. He shed a tear or two of his own for the first time in 10 years saying good by to me and if that doesn’t say I love you without words then I don’t know what else does. Now when you go with a loved one to the airport for training they usually offer you a gate pass to go with them to the gate and spend that last amount of time with them However I decided not to take the gate pass and here is why…
It would have made things 10000 bajillion times harder to watch him walk away but knowing I could still physically hang on. When I left him at security I had no choice but to stay behind or have TSA throw me out or something crazy. Now I know that seems counter productive because we just spent every free moment together to save up memories and time but this would have been sad time and crying time.
Its hard watching them leave and walk away from you knowing you can’t talk or see them for so long. It was hard because I finally found the person that makes me happy, the person that I want to spend my life with, the person that I want to give up my hermit lifestyle for; he is my best friend.
He knew this would be hard for me, so he turned on his crafty side and made me two mason jars, 137 sticky notes and 137 Hershey’s kisses. One jar has the stick notes on top and the kisses inside and each day I get to pull off one sticky note and eat one kiss and put the wrapper into the “Day’s Conquered” jar. This meant the world to me. He knew I would need something to keep me occupied and he made sure I was taken care. I love him more than anything.
So honestly its only been 3 days but things do get a little better each day. I wear his comfy t-shirts at home and his dog tags during the day. Hes been in for the past 5 years so I have his old worn pair to keep him close to my heart. I have found many conflicting opinions on wearing loved ones dog tags…some think its great and sentimental while others find it to be unwarranted because you are not the one serving. Personally I find it extremely comforting and a good reminder of my promise to him to stay with him through thick and thin and the life we are building.
I have started to gain my appetite back however its not back to normal 100% yet. So I will keep you guys posted on how life is going and anything I have to hopefully help anyone else in this situation.
Have any of you found other blogs that are helpful? Military wife blogs? Tips or suggestions? Comment back and let me know your ways to cope with living apart from your loved ones.